Lawrence of Arabia/Still Inspired

Earlier today I found out that Peter O'Toole died at age 81.  I couldn't tell you why, but last year I became completely obsessed with the movie Lawrence of Arabia.  I happened to have downloaded a free online movie and TV show app and at the time, it seemed the only thing almost watchable, well that, and the last thing I thought would be Arabian would be a blue eyed blonde man, so with that, I decided to see if it was just a case of Hollywood male stereotypes.

What I found was a story almost out of a geek's dreams.  Your first glimpse of  Lawrence is of him painting a map in what he calls "a nasty dark little room."  His bearing seems like in person you might have found him a pompous annoyingly overeducated twit in person, but he took himself seriously.  His ambition at the beginning of the movie didn't suit where he was, and suddenly, his life put him in the right spot where who he is and what needed to be done matched up perfectly.  Truth was, he belonged in the desert.  He was a stranger in a strange land who finally found his land, but was still a stranger.  That's got to be a hell of a life, being alien where you feel most at home. 

You'd wonder why I love this movie so much.  Its because in the darkest most strange parts of it, there's a look on Peter O'Toole's face that transcends time and space.  When he's in the desert staring off into the void, there's something there that most humans will never long to understand.  There's a special alone in greatness that makes someone and breaks them too.

"I can't answer for the place, only for myself." So true Mr. O'Toole.  The world sells us dreams of money and stuff, of shiny new gadgets and gizmos, but I can't answer for the place, only for myself.  I don't believe that I can change everyone out there, only myself.  I've learned a lot in the past few months.  I've learned that I have a dream that's possible in this world.  Other people have done similar things, and with half a much stuff as the world says that they needed.  Maybe that's the paradox of our age.  We spend money and time on things that in the end we really don't need.  We have the technology to end hunger and poverty, but we spend it making people homeless and hungry.  There's enough for everyone out there, except if you're a minority, gay, handicapped or in other words less than what we think perfect is.  But still, I can't answer for the place, only for myself. 

Yesterday I admitted that my one luxury is a cup of Starbucks, but I know I could learn to do with less.  Its a habit that is probably holding me back.  Each cup of coffee is $5.  That's money I could've spent of art supplies or given to someone who is hungry, put them aside for a rainy day.  I guess I'm changing.  I'm thinking differently.  The world is slowly becoming a different place.  These days alone isn't so lonely, just quiet.  These days, I'm trying to care less about the fancy life our society sells.  Maybe there's something else out there besides that life, besides the BUY BUY BUY that they sell us between our favorite TV shows and on our morning commute.

I wan to learn what else there is.  Outside the world of oversexed and over-photoshopped.  What experiences are left for me?