What do I want? Oh honey that's a loaded question. But hear your loaded answer: I want to be a woman that shakes shit up. I want to change perception and bend what we think reality is. I want to live a life that people think is out of my reach. I want to create an empire, start a revolution and change the way the world works. If there was ever a start to a New World Order, I want to be there. I want people to say "That woman did everything people said she couldn't so and more."
"You spend so much time being part of other people's art, but what about your own? You jump at the opportunity to see someone else make art, but sleep yours away."
Damn #truth! Until recently I've always been part of other people's art, being an art model doesn't leave you room to do much else. I spent so much money in the last year buying art supplies that stay locked in a studio I barely spend time in. I follow other artists on social media, but everytime I get to mixed media I give up. Waxy soft color pencils were too difficult for my impatient nature.
This week was different. Fueled by hash and Adderall I drew and coloured, and for the first time I felt comfortable about what I'd done. I changed how I handled the markers, colouring in small circular motions and working quickly, changed my approach to colour pencils, bought a blender pencil and learned to sit with my style.
This morning I woke up feeling ready to dislike what I drew. I hesitantly walked downstairs to my studio, and crept to my desk where I left my drawing. The creamy colour of his skin was exactly what I wanted. My right hand throbbed in pain but I reveled in feeling something. The pain showed that my hours of nothing were worth something after all. I think before now I never let myself struggle, never let myself fully fail and keep trying. I'm learning that it's what you do with your struggle that truly makes you great.
To My Fellow Artists:
The next time someone calls you 'soft' or implies that your artistic nature makes you weak, remind them of this simple fact:
At one time, Adolph Hitler wanted to go to art school but wasn't accepted. He went on to lead one of humanity's most atrocious acts in which millions of people were tortured, experimented on and killed.
What if Hitler had become an artist?
Do you think people named Julius get nervous when March 15 rolls around? You know the only reason anyone names their kid Julius these days is after Caesar so maybe they all get nervous?
The thoughts one has while eating a Caesar salad...
If there's any lesson I've learned its this one: Never step over the memory of someone who's already dead in order to praise someone who's still living. The living have time to accomplish more than what they have already, and the dead are closer to the Gods and only they know which Gods they've achieved favour from.
You could easily spite the favourite of your personal Gods in order to gain favour of someone who's only purpose is their own well-being.
I think it's hilarious that some adults are FB fighting but some college age students are having some serious self-prompted discussions on civil rights and how this is a crucial time in our history. You'd think from the impression people have about college students, things would be reversed.
So inspired by the kids I hang out with everyday from the theater kids, to the journalism geeks, to the fashion cats. If I'm in anyway shape or form a good person, it's because of the inspiration I gain from these kids. On the outside we might seem a godless and lost generation, but we're creating new gods for us to admire, new works of art and greater and more lasting ways of living than the generation before us.
Adults, you should take a closer look at the hidden genius in your kids. I promise you, these minds are glorious in what they can and do conceive.
I posted this to my Facebook earlier today after witnessing a long-time feud between two adults spiral out of control. Most of my days are spent with college age kids and while they argue and fight, I was shocked to hear conversations about civil rights and how the media is a major cause of disillusionment of dark-skinned African American women. None of these conversations were prompted by a professor, they just happened naturally. In a world where the media portrays college as a time of drunken revelry and debauchery, most of the kids I spend my time with have serious discussions on their future, how they want to make an impact on this planet and other things.
I'm always in awe of how perceptions can be drastically wrong. One of my drastically wrong perceptions was that I don't need school. I think what I meant at the time was that I'm tired of the same old same old. I wanted what I'm a part of now, an environment where real thought and exploration happens, not just another classroom, and I'm glad I found it.
This week has been exciting. I spent my week being blue (literally), and painting a guy's balls (I did it for the sake of art). If that doesn't strike you as strange, what should strike you as strange is: this is just another day at the office for me. I guess I live outside the box nowadays.
I just don't understand how I'm this broke but having this much fun.
In USA Today, but can't afford toothpaste and maxi pads. Working 3 epic jobs, too hungry to get out of bed. Will be homeless soon-ish if I keep 'borrowing' clothes from my mom, yet I work in a school with a secret closet in the basement full of clothes in my size. Supposedly I'm a genius but can't graduate college if I tried.
Life is fucking hilarious. Fuck the rules, they don't mean shit these days. Our constitution is written on hemp paper, yet we can't even grow it for our own use. The sun rises and sets on the things that don't make sense.
