The Arch of Time/Changes

I slept the day away.  Something about their presence drained me, more than the lack of food did.  Looking at these people just made me feel empty.  Their awkward movements, the plastic smiles on their faces as they took the liberty of showing themselves around.

No adult stopped for a moment to connect, they just grazed past, like sheep.  "Ariella, this is your aunt."  She said, over and over like a parrot on repeat.  Poor kid, she looks ready to run away, she lept into my arms quicker than I was expecting.  The younger one (who no one bothered to introduce) stared at me with eyes that spoke volumes.  She was drawn to this strange new figure in the blue hood, and as I reached out to pick her up she pitched forward with such vengeance that she would've fallen had I not been there to catch her.  She looked up and giggled, as if to thank me.

Now that she was closer her tiny face seemed intent on examining everything about me.  Funny, in my family the only people I can connect with are children.  They make sense in ways adults don't.  

She touched my hair, my face, my hood and my buttons.  She seemed to like me.  

My aunt looked at me warily.  "Time to go!" Thank Goodness.  My head started to pound.  I was starting to feel drained and lightheaded.  As I walked them out to the car, the little girl in my arms rammed hands into my hair, her gleeful giggles pierced the air.  I handed the nameless baby back to her father, and the giggles disolved into tears.

Her tears hurt.  So much so that I walked away before they were securely in the car.  My head felt heavy as I pushed open the door to my mother's room.  It was peacefully quiet, but the floor was cluttered with my art supplies.  I sunk to the floor, inhabiting the one spare spot on the ground.  My head hit the pillow and as I closed my eyes, a soft calming voice said to me

They do not fit in with me.  I am ambitious, not crazy.  My purpose is real.  They do not fit in with me.